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skip to my lou
04-01-2005, 12:35 AM
Favor for mankind

The president of Lotus walks into an elevator with a gun in his hand.
In the elevator are: Sadam Hussein, Timmothy McVeigh, and Bill Gates.
Only one problem: there are only two bullets.
Who does he shoot?

Bill, twice.


What's the difference between Bill Gates and Robert Tappen Morris, Jr. (the Internet Worm Hacker)?

Robert Tappen Morris, Jr., got six months in jail for crashing 10% of the
computers that Bill Gates made $100 billion crashing.


Car problems

3 people had carpool: a mechanical engineer, a electrical engineer and a Microsoft programmer. But the car suddenly broke down.
Mechanical engineer said: "Hey! It has to be the fuel injection. Lemme fix it."
The electrical engineer didn't agree: "It's magneto probably. I'll fix it."
Microsoft programmer shoke his head and said: "Hey guys, I have a simpler idea: Let's just close all the windows, get out of the car, then get back into it, and it should run!"


Unix:

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% got a light?
No match.

% If I had a ( for every $ Boesak stole, what would I have?
Too many ('s.

$ drink matter
matter: cannot create

$ drink <bottle; opener
bottle: cannot open
opener: not found


better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus < north pole > town

cat /etc/passwd > list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty > nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice > giftlist
santa claus < north pole > town

who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | grep bad || good
for (goodness sake) {
be good
}

&lt;/stml&gt;

Recherché
06-01-2005, 08:13 PM
Haha. :D

The Unix jokes were funny, the MS jokes are tired. :)