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Redmond Barry
18-07-2010, 03:58 AM
are you a true believer ?

give me your money and you can weather the tumult of lifes infractions.

celebrate the real jesus. my deity neither panders to the salon tanned or scantily cladded beach going summer devotees whose birthday refrains from coinciding with such debauched activitys. mine is a selfless fully clad inducing icon whose birth celebrates time spent by fires in the coldest months sipping on mugs of soups and extracting copious amounts of snot from the nasal cavity.

on the 25th of July please take a moment to cherish the life and times of the most reverent of deities the one simply known as - SNOW JESUS.

click on my private message box to donate. do it now !!!!!!!!

remember, SNOW JESUS loves YOU !!!!!! give me your money !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Redmond Barry
18-07-2010, 04:01 AM
oh yeah my church is called "the midwinter methodists".

thats who you make the million dollar cheques out to.

this is so cool !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

heres my main man SNOW JESUS. he can skull a jug of victoria bitter in 8 seconds flat. master of the universe i say !!!!!!!!!!!!........................

http://westseattleblog.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/snowjesus.jpg

ER
18-07-2010, 08:07 AM
are you a true believer ?
give me your money and you can weather the tumult of lifes infractions.

Hey TPL you said something clearly about salvation in the original Scriptures - Manifesto (shoutbox) here it is


give me your money and salvation is yours..........

nothing of the sort here :( !!! You also said:


on the 25th of July please take a moment to cherish the life and times of the most reverent of deities the one simply known as - SNOW JESUS.

What if I am in Europe on the 25th? It's as hot as (am I allowed that dreaded word here, or you ll excomunicate me) in this time of the year there?? :(

If not, then aren't the Midwinter Methodists a universal religion???

Redmond Barry
18-07-2010, 10:44 AM
Hey TPL you said something clearly about salvation in the original Scriptures - Manifesto (shoutbox) here it is



nothing of the sort here :( !!! You also said:



What if I am in Europe on the 25th? It's as hot as (am I allowed that dreaded word here, or you ll excomunicate me) in this time of the year there?? :(

If not, then aren't the Midwinter Methodists a universal religion???

UNBELEIVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!

the "midwinter methodists" are indeed a universal religious group and heres why ............

although its currently summer in europe "SNOW JESUS" was born against all odds in a manger in a small seaside locality in scandinavia in the lunchtime sun on the 25th of july 2010 years ago. the very fact that he should have perished from the elements proves his omnipotence, love and handsome countenance.
other snow related births at that time of year and subsequently all until this day have resulted in extremely poor life expectancies for each individual of the "SNOW person" demographic, all except my man "SNOW JESUS".

the reason why my religion is universal is because in the month of july all members pay homage to the great Snow Jesus by conducting a pilgrimage to the south island of new zealand. the exact destination isnt important. primarily, members just ski a lot and drink strawberry daquiris at the bar then chuck snowballs at unsuspecting goat herders. its just one big party.
this reason for the trip being made is purely because it is written in the scriptures that members should honour the great one by traversing to the opposite corner of the globe in relation to his birthplace to honour his glorious message. Snow Jesus stipulates in the great book that he doesnt like visitors coming because they usually eat all his carrots, drink his cans of victoria bitter and ingratiate themselves towards him which he really hates. plus the fact hes agoraphobic means followers need to celebrate his life by visiting the furthest destination from scandinavia...... thats how the south island of new zealand ties in.

if i can direct you to verse 5 paragraph 7 from the great book ....... "be cool and grab a can from the fridge".

never were wiser words spoken

as the picture indicates Snow Jesus stands aloft in front of some scandinavian guys garage bringing hope to the masses and relaying the simply message of being cool, embracing the winter months, keeping a respectable amount of clothes on (which he normally doesnt, since hes always out partying), and eating lots of carrots.

so thats the reasons why my religion is sustainable and real.

Hobbes
18-07-2010, 10:57 PM
I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. The carrot has mystery. Flowers are essentially tarts. Prostitutes for the bees. There is you'll agree a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm young carrot.

Redmond Barry
18-07-2010, 11:41 PM
I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. The carrot has mystery. Flowers are essentially tarts. Prostitutes for the bees. There is you'll agree a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm young carrot.

im not surprised that the carrot is back in vogue (did it ever go out of fashion one may wonder ??????). and it is true that flowers are promiscuous hussys, maybe they should cover up a bit more so they wouldnt look so cheap.

carrots have too much dignity to stoop to the level of the common flower.

you sound like a sensible fellow with plausible well considered ideas.
how does the position of ordained priest in my church tickle your fancy.

its pays around $100000 p/a. plus use of the church vehicle. the car is an armour plated mercedes limo.

i pay in indonesian rupiahs only ........................ so thats around $12.60 aus p/a.

its a great opportunity...................:D

antichrist
19-07-2010, 01:41 PM
I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. The carrot has mystery. Flowers are essentially tarts. Prostitutes for the bees. There is you'll agree a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm young carrot.

What is this about the carrot having mystery, I will have to call Garratt in to sort you out. Carrots are the same through and through, and as well try one and you have tried the lot.


Who knows what bliss the geranium is enjoying having the bee tickle her fancy - sweet nothings, the whole lot.

Redmond Barry
10-06-2011, 08:20 PM
45 days to go !!

don't forget the most important date on the religious calendar is coming up on the 25th july.

this years festivities include a fancy dress party, tractor pull, log chopping and medieval jousting. ive also hired a chef to bake a life sized cake in the shape of the great one. yummy !

it is also rumoured that former international super group "the spice girls" will reunite for this monumental occasion. the excitement continues to build !!

to book just send $62.50 via my secure paypal link to email - gottagetpaid@superflybigboi.winning

I've already hired a field in invercargill so the venue is a lock in !

this is guaranteed to be the social event of the year. !!

pay before 1st of july and I will send you a signed picture of 2 swans fighting over a bag of lightly salted crisps I gave them whilst I walked through the park today !!

happy purchasing !!

Redmond Barry
25-07-2011, 10:01 PM
## superior religious news. ##

yesterdays celebration in the south island of new zealand to mark the birth of the great one was a complete success.

a grand total of 5051 followers ventured to a vacant field in invercargill where the traditional comestible of carrots and religious beverage victoria bitter were eaten and drunk as revellers partook in celebratory games and just generally partied hard !

thankyou to all those who made this such a memorable occasion and to those that put in a claim for a refund, snow jesus is not pleased.

until next year, be good.

Redmond Barry
01-11-2012, 10:14 PM
Reports today out of iceland today indicate that 12 year old boy gylfi sigurdsson has witnessed the effigy of snow jesus in his chicken noodle soup.

Thats the 8th sighting this year !

Our Lord certainly appears in mysterious forms.

Agent Smith
01-11-2012, 10:26 PM
I think you should have left this thread dead. :hmm:

In Australia we have Beach Jesus. ;>

Redmond Barry
02-11-2012, 02:10 AM
I think you should have left this thread dead. :hmm:

In Australia we have Beach Jesus. ;>

Im not convinced the public needs another imposter to rival the great one.

As has been well documented, although antichrist thinks that everybody worships him this couldnt be further from the truth.