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Capablanca-Fan
24-12-2009, 08:08 PM
Holiday Greetings to Everyone
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter/summer solstice holiday, practised with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that it is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer:
No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

Phil Bourke
24-12-2009, 08:27 PM
Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year, to everyone.

Rincewind
24-12-2009, 08:41 PM
Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas and may Her Holy Hooves never be shod.

Basil
24-12-2009, 09:05 PM
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty


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Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2009
RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.

However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now? Happy Holidays to you and your family

Patty


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Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2009
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.


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Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2009
RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first. There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty


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Company *Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2009
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you f*%^ing weirdoes can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!! *


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Company *Memo
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 6, 2009
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Joan

Desmond
25-12-2009, 06:08 AM
Happy Birthday, Santa

Adamski
25-12-2009, 06:52 AM
At least in my house, Jesus is the reason for the season!

I did enjoy the PC greeting, Jono, and the memo sequence, Gunner.

Rincewind
25-12-2009, 09:18 AM
At least in my house, Jesus is the reason for the season!

We celebrate the Solstice. The 25th is a couple of days late but around the right time.

Merry Solstice everyone! Roll on Equinox!

Capablanca-Fan
11-12-2012, 03:25 AM
We celebrate the Solstice.
You would. It's a geocentric holiday. The name means that the sun stands still, i.e. that its noon position is either the highest or lowest altitude in the sky above the horizon. So the seasonal movement of the sun's path across the sky stops then changes direction.

Capablanca-Fan
11-12-2012, 03:34 AM
It's now the feast of Hanukkah. This Jewish feast celebrates the "re-booting" of the Second Temple after the Maccabees got rid of the defiler Antiochus IV who called himself ‘Epiphanes’ meaning ([God] manifest). This included lighting the Menorah, the multi-part candle, and the story goes that one day's supply of oil lasted all eight days.

In John 10:22–23 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2010:22%E2%80%9323&version=ESV), we see Yeshua/Jesus walking on the Temple Mount during Hanukkah, using this Feast of Lights to explain how He is the Light of the World, and God (the Second Person (http://creation.com/incarnation-why-god-became-man) of the Trinity (http://creation.com/jesus-christ-our-creator-a-biblical-defence-of-the-trinity)) come in the flesh! Thus He saw nothing wrong with celebrating a “man-made”festival (so likewise I see nothing wrong with celebrating Christmas, and the 25 December date comes from a Jewish tradition that later pagans plagiarized (http://creation.com/free-inquiry#christmas)).

This Menorah is a great illustration. On Hanukkah, Jews light the middle candle, the Shamash, meaning “Servant”, then use this to light the other candles. This represents our LORD Yeshua, the suffering Servant prophesied in Isaiah (Yeshayahu) 53 (http://messiah.com.es/#http://messiah.com.es/alphabet/isaiah53-3.html), who is the Light of the World (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%208:12&version=ESV). The other candles represent believers in Him, both Jew and Gentile (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=gal%203:28&version=ESV), who should show His light not hide it under a bushel (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5:15&version=KJV).

Adamski
11-12-2012, 06:30 AM
Happy Hanukkah to all.

From a messianic Jew.

Rincewind
11-12-2012, 08:36 AM
You would. It's a geocentric holiday. The name means that the sun stands still, i.e. that its noon position is either the highest or lowest altitude in the sky above the horizon. So the seasonal movement of the sun's path across the sky stops then changes direction.

Geocentric or not the reason xmas is celebrated in late December at all is due to the pre-existing pagan feastdays associated with midwinter that missionaries were looking to usurp with xtian holidays. Most scholars think that if the nativity descriptions in the the gospel have any kernel of truth to them at all then Jesus could not have been born in midwinter.

Capablanca-Fan
12-12-2012, 05:36 AM
Geocentric or not the reason xmas is celebrated in late December at all is due to the pre-existing pagan feastdays associated with midwinter that missionaries were looking to usurp with xtian holidays. Most scholars think that if the nativity descriptions in the the gospel have any kernel of truth to them at all then Jesus could not have been born in midwinter.
That is the wrong way round. First, the solstice is a few days earlier than 25 December, and Saturnalia likewise finished before then. Second, as documented in Is there anything about Christmas that’s genuinely Christian? (http://creation.com/free-inquiry#christmas), this date predated pagan celebrations and was derived from a Jewish tradition:


Observation of this date by Christians goes back at least as far as AD 202 by Hippolytus of Rome in his Commentary on Daniel:


For the first advent of our Lord in the flesh, when he was born in Bethlehem, eight days before the kalends of January [December 25th], the 4th day of the week [Wednesday], while Augustus was in his forty-second year, [2 or 3BC] but from Adam five thousand and five hundred years. He suffered in the thirty third year, 8 days before the kalends of April [March 25th], the Day of Preparation, the fifteenth year of Tiberius Caesar [29 or 30 AD], while Rufus and Roubellion and Gaius Caesar, for the 4th time, and Gaius Cestius Saturninus were Consuls.

But it wasn’t until AD 274, 72 years later, that Roman Emperor Aurelian proclaimed a celebration of Sol Invictus, and there is no clear evidence that such a celebration on this date actually took place until AD 354. One article, “Calculating Christmas (http://www.touchstonemag.com/archives/article.php?id=16-10-012-v)”, concludes:


Thus, December 25th as the date of the Christ’s birth appears to owe nothing whatsoever to pagan influences upon the practice of the Church during or after Constantine’s time. It is wholly unlikely to have been the actual date of Christ’s birth, but it arose entirely from the efforts of early Latin Christians to determine the historical date of Christ’s death.
And the pagan feast which the Emperor Aurelian instituted on that date in the year 274 was not only an effort to use the winter solstice to make a political statement, but also almost certainly an attempt to give a pagan significance to a date already of importance to Roman Christians. The Christians, in turn, could at a later date re-appropriate the pagan ‘Birth of the Unconquered Sun’ to refer, on the occasion of the birth of Christ, to the rising of the ‘Sun of Salvation’ or the ‘Sun of Justice.’

So clearly the pagan date is the counterfeit, not the original. The real source of the 25 December date is an extra-biblical Jewish tradition, called the ‘integral year’. This means that a prophet’s lifespan would be an exact number of years, so he would die on an anniversary of his conception, the real beginning of life. Jesus’ death was calculated as March 25th by the Western church, and April 6th by the Eastern Church. Therefore this same date was celebrated as the date Christ was conceived. Nine months later is December 25th or January 6th, and the latter date is still celebrated in the Eastern Orthodox church (and many branches of the Western church celebrate ‘Epiphany’ on the same day, now to commemorate the arrival of the magi and their three gifts).

[See also Rethinking the Pagan Origins of Christmas (http://christian-civilization.org/articles/rethinking-the-pagan-origins-of-christmas/).]

Rincewind
12-12-2012, 08:52 AM
That is the wrong way round...

If you only read stuff which reinforces you narrow world view it is not surprising that you never learn anything.

:lol:

ER
12-12-2012, 10:09 AM
repent sinners 12/12/12 is the last repetitive date you will ever see! :P

Rincewind
12-12-2012, 11:22 AM
repent sinners 12/12/12 is the last repetitive date you will ever see! :P

Assuming the technological singularity doesn't happen before you die. :P

ER
12-12-2012, 12:59 PM
Assuming the technological singularity doesn't happen before you die. :P

In this case I might have to reschedule a few plans:hmm: including finishing VV's Marooned in Realtime, or maybe (as Garrett suggested) to leave things as they are till 2101! :lol:

Adamski
12-12-2012, 10:34 PM
repent sinners 12/12/12 is the last repetitive date you will ever see! :P
I read today about a chap who had his actual birthday (as in exact anniversary of the time of his birth) at 12.12 PM on 12/12/12!

ER
12-12-2012, 10:53 PM
I read today about a chap who had his actual birthday (as in exact anniversary of the time of his birth) at 12.12 PM on 12/12/12!

haha reminds me of those armistice days! :)

Ian Murray
13-12-2012, 08:18 AM
Parental guidance recommended for those dismissive of the leftmedia

Merry Chrismukkah (http://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2012/12/season%E2%80%99s-greetings)
The Economist
12 Dec 2012


ON THE London Underground or the Paris Metro, only a brave passenger would dress as a Jewish version of Santa Claus. Such an outfit would risk stares, grumbles about Israeli policies, or worse. Yet in Philadelphia on December 8th, as subway trains filled with youthful, costumed Santas—revellers at an annual drinking festival—few glanced twice at the young woman in robes and hat of blue and white fur, embroidered with a menorah, or sacred candelabra. Flanked by friends clad in red and white, her fancy-dress paid homage to Hanukkah, a once-obscure Jewish festival that—usually falling in December—has been built up to become a response to the “December dilemma”, meaning the puzzle posed for non-Christians by Christmas....

Redmond Barry
17-12-2012, 06:38 AM
repent sinners 12/12/12 is the last repetitive date you will ever see! :P

Im planning on seeing the first of january 2101.

Capablanca-Fan
25-12-2012, 08:34 AM
The true meaning of Christmas—see The Incarnation: Why did God become Man? (http://creation.com/incarnation-why-god-became-man)

Rincewind
25-12-2012, 09:42 AM
The true meaning of Christmas

It's Santa's birthday.

http://www.santastories.net/birthday/s-page2.gif