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  1. #1
    CC International Master
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    you know you are a conservative when

    This is even more biassed (but only just) than the drivel posted on you know you are a lefty when..... Why cant the right wing drongos accept that the Australian electors get it right - first in dumping the clock collector and then eventually the rodent

    You Know You're a Conservative When -

    You know you're a conservative when you can believe that the nation should be ruled according to the Bible but conveniently forget the part about wealth being the most certain path AWAY from any Christian ideal of heaven.

    You know you're a conservative when you believe that the poor are in that situation because they are lazy and then you thank God for all of your good fortunes (see above).

    You know you're a conservative when you demand that a collection of cells in a woman's womb constitutes life and then, eighteen or nineteen years later, you send that same collection of cells off to kill and die for puerile and insane political or economic reasons.

    You believe that a profit-driven and greed filled multinational corporation will behave decently enough to protect the environment, workers, and provide safe and healthful products but an elected and responsive government that protects consumers from those same corporations is too "inefficient".

    You know you're a conservative when you think that PBS is a waste of public funds but allowing corporations to pay for the programs (and to limit what those programs can say) is somehow an intelligent alternative.

    You know you're a conservative when you happily support even the most insane policy of the NRA while whining that the ACLU is going over board when it questions society's need for automatic weapons with ammo clips that hold a hundred Teflon coated, armor penetrating bullets.

    You know you're a conservative when you believe that HIV and AIDS are God's punishments but ignore the hundreds of thousands of deaths that the sacred tobacco plant causes.

    In fact, you know you're a conservative when you believe that HIV and AIDS are God's punishments but you die from coronary disease brought on by a life of fatty food and days spent as a couch potato.

    You know you're a conservative when you believe that affirmative action for blacks or women is unconstitutional but the good ol' boy admission policies at places like Yale and Harvard are the right of the wealthy.

    You know you're a conservative when you think photos of naked humans are evil and pictures of two humans engaged in the act of sex sends you into spasms but filling the planet with real filth and pollution is justifiable as a cost of doing business.

    You know you're a conservative when you want to ban any form of sex education in schools but then refuse to offer care, through welfare or food stamps, for the children conceived by uneducated kids .

    You know you're a conservative when you believe that inflicting physical pain on a child teaches them respect or discipline or whatever but making white collar criminals pay for their sins is interfering with the capitalist system.

    You know you're a conservative when you detest funding public schools but see nothing wrong with wasting tax dollars on vouchers to pay for an education at private or religious schools for wealthy families.

    You know you're a conservative when you see no irony in demanding that other nations rise to an arbitrary level of human rights while America has the highest per capita prison population on Earth, more than Iran or Russia or China or any other country we are so quick to criticize.

    You know you're a conservative when you think that a President that puts his weenie where it might not ought to be is worthy of impeachment but a President who send military weapons, including sophisticated anti-aircraft, shoulder-mounted missiles, deserved to be pardoned by his hand-picked water boy.

    Finally, you know you're a conservative when you believe that greed, selfishness, hate, divisiveness, and the adoration of the wealthy is an acceptable life.

    For the record, it isn't.

  2. #2
    CC International Master TheJoker's Avatar
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    Great list

  3. #3
    CC Grandmaster Basil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Davidflude
    Why cant the right wing drongos accept that the Australian electors get it right - first in dumping the clock collector and then eventually the rodent
    Before I read the list, just taking time out to debunk the preamble.

    Everyone gets it wrong sometimes, even the electorate* - unless you have decided that the electorate is infinitely omnipotent - and then you're in the wrong thread!

    Another way of making your rhetoric look silly is to acknowledge that the electorate does indeed always get it right and then enquire as to whether you voted left 4 years ago. As Howard won and we know that the electorate always gets it right, then you must have got it wrong!

    Did you admit to yourself and the board ... like look in the mirror and say "Hey David, you drongo, you got it wrong. Thank goodness for the electorate!"

    Now I'm off to read to biased post!

    *not to be confused with the electorate's right to get it wrong.
    Last edited by Basil; 02-03-2008 at 12:50 AM.
    There is no cure for leftism. Its infestation of the host mostly diminishes with age except in the most rabid of specimens.

  4. #4
    CC Grandmaster Spiny Norman's Avatar
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    Here we go again ... now I know in my heart of hearts I'm a conservative ... but I scored zero again on that list.

    Come on ... someone's got to come up with a list that I can identify with!
    “As you perhaps know, I haven't always been a Christian. I didn't go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don't recommend Christianity.” -- C.S.Lewis

  5. #5
    CC Grandmaster Adamski's Avatar
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    Me, too

    Quote Originally Posted by Spiny Norman
    Here we go again ... now I know in my heart of hearts I'm a conservative ... but I scored zero again on that list.

    Come on ... someone's got to come up with a list that I can identify with!
    Me, too. The thing is that all the "right" lists I have seen have put their propositions in too extreme a form. Us righties are pretty tolerant creatures...
    God exists. Short and to the point.

    Secretary of, and regularly arbiter at, Rooty Hill RSL Chess Club. See www.rootyhillchessclub.org.

    Psephological insight. "Controversial will only lose you votes. Courageous will lose you the election." Sir Humphrey Appleby on Yes Minister.

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  6. #6
    CC International Master TheJoker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jono2
    The thing is that all the "right" lists I have seen have put their propositions in too extreme a form.
    And what do you think the lefty lists did?

  7. #7
    CC Grandmaster Basil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheJoker
    And what do you think the lefty lists did?
    They demonstrated a genuine impasse and double standard - widely argued by the left.
    There is no cure for leftism. Its infestation of the host mostly diminishes with age except in the most rabid of specimens.

  8. #8
    Monster of the deep Kevin Bonham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jono2
    Us righties are pretty tolerant creatures...
    In what sense of the word "tolerant"?

  9. #9
    CC Grandmaster Adamski's Avatar
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    Well...

    Quote Originally Posted by Kevin Bonham
    In what sense of the word "tolerant"?
    Well, I don't expect everybody to agree with me but I am tolerant of people who don't. They have the right to their opinion. Good question, though, because the word "tolerant" has subtly changed in meaning today. In that to be tolerant of a view almost believes that you agree with it. Another sad case of the English language being mutilated, eh Gunner! In the older sense I am tolerant of Muslim and atheist and even left views etc.
    Last edited by Adamski; 01-03-2008 at 06:52 PM.
    God exists. Short and to the point.

    Secretary of, and regularly arbiter at, Rooty Hill RSL Chess Club. See www.rootyhillchessclub.org.

    Psephological insight. "Controversial will only lose you votes. Courageous will lose you the election." Sir Humphrey Appleby on Yes Minister.

    Favorite movie line: Girl friend Cathy to Jack Ryan in "Sum of all Fears". "What kind of emergency does an historian have?".

  10. #10
    CC Grandmaster Capablanca-Fan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Davidflude
    You know you're a conservative when you can believe that the nation should be ruled according to the Bible but conveniently forget the part about wealth being the most certain path AWAY from any Christian ideal of heaven.
    The Bible says that the LOVE for money—not money—is the root of all kinds of evil. There is certainly nothing in the Bible about masive government confiscation of wealth to fund bloated welfare bureaucracies like Centrelink.

    Quote Originally Posted by Davidflude
    You know you're a conservative when you believe that the poor are in that situation because they are lazy and then you thank God for all of your good fortunes (see above).
    There are many causes of poverty; laziness is one, poor investment is another, having poor parents still another, bad luck is yet one more. And a major one I've been pointing out is that some people are poor because of government policies that severely penalize those trying to enter the workforce as beneficiaries because of the high effective marginal tax rates on earned income.

    Quote Originally Posted by Davidflude
    You believe that a profit-driven and greed filled multinational corporation will behave decently enough to protect the environment, workers, and provide safe and healthful products
    Once again, lefties attack "greed", as if greed can enrich anyone at all who doesn't provide goods and services that people want. "Profit driven" also means little; that is the hope of any business, but most new businesses fail.

    FYI, multinationals pay way above the going rate in the third world countries they open factories in, so that natives even bribe for an opportunity to work in them. But lefty bleating has closed such opportunities for these workers to improve their lots. See In Defence of Multinationals.

    Quote Originally Posted by Davidflude
    but an elected and responsive government that protects consumers from those same corporations is too "inefficient".
    You mean, an unelected, unresponsive and over-regulating bureaucracy. And it's precisely because they are not "profit-driven" that they don't have to meet the needs of customers as efficiently as possible.

    Quote Originally Posted by Davidflude
    You know you're a conservative when you think that PBS is a waste of public funds but allowing corporations to pay for the programs (and to limit what those programs can say) is somehow an intelligent alternative.
    Of course. At least when the corporations are paying freely, then I am not being forced to. Typical lefties failing to see the difference between freedom and force.

    Quote Originally Posted by Davidflude
    You know you're a conservative when you happily support even the most insane policy of the NRA while whining that the ACLU is going over board when it questions society's need for automatic weapons with ammo clips that hold a hundred Teflon coated, armor penetrating bullets.
    Yeah, right, the gun free zone really helped Virgina Tech— helped the murderer, that is, by assuring him that his victims would be defenseless. Conversely, the Colorado Church killer was stopped by a true heroine, Jeanne Assam, who was packing heat and shot the scumbag, saving many lives.

    Quite simple actually. As Thomas Jefferson said, when the law forbids guns, only the lawless will have them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Davidflude
    You know you're a conservative when you believe that HIV and AIDS are God's punishments but ignore the hundreds of thousands of deaths that the sacred tobacco plant causes.
    I hate smoking, even passive smoking, so I guess I can't be. This is more of a fetish with some libertarians.

    Quote Originally Posted by Davidflude
    You know you're a conservative when you believe that affirmative action for blacks or women is unconstitutional but the good ol' boy admission policies at places like Yale and Harvard are the right of the wealthy.
    Ah yes, another lefty favorite: two wrongs make a right, except that they would substitute another word for the last

    Quote Originally Posted by Davidflude
    You know you're a conservative when you want to ban any form of sex education in schools but then refuse to offer care, through welfare or food stamps, for the children conceived by uneducated kids .
    Once again, look at the actual history as documented in Thomas Sowell's The Vision of the Anointed: while the rate of these teenage pregnancies was already decreasing, but still the lefties declared a "crisis" and instituted sex ed programs. The result:

    "As sex education programs spread widely through the American educational system during the 1970s, the pregnancy rate among 15- to 19-year-old females rose from approximately 68 per thousand in 1970 to approximately 96 per thousand by 1980. Among unmarried girls in the 15- to 17-year-old bracket, birth rates rose 29 percent between 1970 and 1984, despite a massive increase in abortions, which more than doubled in the same period. Among girls under 15, the number of abortions surpassed the number of live births by 1974." -- P. 18

    "Many of the words and phrases used in the media and among academics suggest that things simply happen to people, rather than be being caused by their own choices and behavior. Thus there is said to be an 'epidemic' of teenage pregnancy, or of drug usage, as if these things were like the flu that people catch just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time." -- P. 198

    Quote Originally Posted by Davidflude
    You know you're a conservative when you detest funding public schools but see nothing wrong with wasting tax dollars on vouchers to pay for an education at private or religious schools for wealthy families.
    As long as the vouchers are available for every parent, then of course. That would actually benefit poor parents more, because then they could send their kids to schools other than the government educratic monopoly. It's notable that many limousine lefty opponents of school vouchers can afford to send their own kids to the best private schools money can buy.

    This is one more example of how lefties claim to be on the side of the poor, but advocate policies that harm them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Davidflude
    You know you're a conservative when you see no irony in demanding that other nations rise to an arbitrary level of human rights while America has the highest per capita prison population on Earth, more than Iran or Russia or China or any other country we are so quick to criticize.
    Good grief, must be some screws loose on this one, with this "blame America first" insanity. America puts criminals in prison, China puts political opponents in prison. And lefties who whinge about overcrowded American prisons are the first to squeal against building more of them which would relieve overcrowding. Typical leftist moral equivalence, which we also saw with the Soviet Union, and are now seeing with Castro.

    Quote Originally Posted by Davidflude
    Finally, you know you're a conservative when you believe that greed, selfishness, hate, divisiveness, and the adoration of the wealthy is an acceptable life.

    For the record, it isn't.
    Indeed it isn't. The free market doesn't advocate selfishness, but recognizes it as a reality. Lefty ideas of utopia ignore the reality of humans as they are. Sowell points out:

    "Although Adam Smith regarded the intentions of businessmen as selfish and anti-social, he saw the systematic consequences of their competition as being far more beneficial to society than well-intentioned government regulation." -- P. 126

    As for "divisiveness", this is Leftyspeak for disagreeing with Leftism!

    As for hate, conservatives have nothing on the lefty Bush Derangement Syndrome or the Australian version, Howard Derangement Syndrome, and various other bilious lefty hatreds.
    Last edited by Capablanca-Fan; 02-03-2008 at 10:16 PM.
    “The history of the 20th century is full of examples of countries that set out to redistribute wealth and ended up redistributing poverty.”
    “There’s no point blaming the tragedies of socialism on the flaws or corruption of particular leaders. Any system which allows some people to exercise unbridled power over others is an open invitation to abuse, whether that system is called slavery or socialism or something else.”—Thomas Sowell

  11. #11
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    To be honest i see being "concervative" as a mode of behaviour rather than being left or right-wing.
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