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  1. #1
    CC Candidate Master
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    Newspaper Headlines (light relief)

    Some unintentionally funny newspaper headlines:

    Police Chief's pledge to murder witnesses
    Sex scandal vicar seeks new position
    Cuts could hurt animals
    Cause of aids found - scientists
    Traffic dead rise slowly
    Thugs eat then rob proprietor
    Defendant's speech ends in long sentence
    Why you want sex changes with age
    Hospitals sued by seven foot doctors
    Cemetery allows people to be buried by their pets
    Miners refuse to work after death
    Kids make nutritious snacks

  2. #2
    Reader in Slood Dynamics Rincewind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rob
    Some unintentionally funny newspaper headlines:
    One of my favourites reputedly from WWII...

    Macarthur Flies Back to Front
    So einfach wie möglich, aber nicht einfacher - Albert Einstein

  3. #3
    CC Grandmaster Alan Shore's Avatar
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    Some more for you:

    POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS

    SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED

    DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE

    SURVIVOR OF SIAMESE TWINS JOINS PARENTS

    FARMER BILL DIES IN HOUSE

    IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS

    IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS?

    STUD TIRES OUT

    PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

    PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

    SOVIET VIRGIN LANDS SHORT OF GOAL AGAIN

    BRITISH LEFT WAFFLES ON FALKLAND ISLANDS

    LUNG CANCER IN WOMEN MUSHROOMS

    EYE DROPS OFF SHELF

    TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS

    SQUAD HELPS DOG BITE VICTIM

    SHOT OFF WOMAN'S LEG HELPS NICKLAUS TO 66

    ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX

    PLANE TOO CLOSE TO GROUND, CRASH PROBE TOLD

    MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

    JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT

    STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE

    TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE, ONE DIES

    2 SISTERS REUNITED AFTER 18 YEARS IN CHECKOUT COUNTER

    KILLER SENTENCED TO DIE FOR SECOND TIME IN 10 YEARS

    NEVER WITHHOLD HERPES INFECTION FROM LOVED ONE

    DRUNKEN DRIVERS PAID $1000 IN '84

    WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE

    IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST A WHILE

    COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES

    SPRINGFEILD COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE
    "I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."
    - White Queen, Alice through the Looking-Glass

  4. #4
    CC International Master Rhubarb's Avatar
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    Literally my own favourite:

    Telstra to Increase Private Parts

  5. #5
    CC Grandmaster arosar's Avatar
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    Last week, on the extra 450-troop announcement, the PM was quoted as saying that Iraq was on a "tilting point". In fact, I think he meant to say "tipping point" - the latest buzz word.

    AR

  6. #6
    CC International Master Cat's Avatar
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    I can't remember the exact order, but there have been some lovely cricket passages over the years;

    'The bowler's Holding the batsman's Willee.'

    'Lillee bowled Dillee caught Willee'.
    Power comes from the barrel of a gun.

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