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  1. #1
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    jammo's trolling sf. Olympiad speculation

    Isn't it a nice change to have a couple of Bonham free days.

    We can post in peace.

  2. #2
    Monster of the deep Kevin Bonham's Avatar
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    Bit of a shame to see jammo regress to completely brainless and inane trolling without the slightest current provocation, not even remotely relevant to the thread it is on either (which had had no posts for 16 days), and not even factual either. I am very busy at the moment but nonetheless I posted once on the 23rd (twice now) and three times on the 22nd.
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kevin Bonham
    Bit of a shame to see jammo regress to completely brainless and inane trolling without the slightest current provocation, not even remotely relevant to the thread it is on either (which had had no posts for 16 days), and not even factual either. I am very busy at the moment but nonetheless I posted once on the 23rd (twice now) and three times on the 22nd.
    Alas, it seems I was wrong. I had hoped that Kevin was out there going for the Tasmanian snail record (was it 21 or 22 in a day ... I can't remember) and that consequently we may be able to sneak in a few posts without the ever-present threat of overly detailed, pedantic retorts, but it seems there is no escape.

    Oh well, perhaps the snails of Tasmania are having a brief respite even if we are not.

    PS. My apologies if this post is on the wrong thread. Feel free to move it to a new thread. May I suggest the title "Bonham baiting?"

  4. #4
    Monster of the deep Kevin Bonham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jammo
    I had hoped that Kevin was out there going for the Tasmanian snail record (was it 21 or 22 in a day ... I can't remember) and that consequently we may be able to sneak in a few posts without the ever-present threat of overly detailed, pedantic retorts, but it seems there is no escape.
    Yes it's so terrible when you make a post and people supply replies that are "overly detailed" in that they supply information that proves your overgeneralised bogus "big picture" drivel to be false, isn't it?

    I'm actually writing a book about snails in which numerous new species are described. It's a shame that none of the new species are actually pests, or else I could name them after whatever inane forum troll happened to desperately beg for my attention for a few passing minutes at the time.

    PS. My apologies if this post is on the wrong thread.
    The insincerity of your apology is noted.
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  5. #5
    CC Grandmaster ER's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kev
    ... It's a shame that none of the new species are actually pests, or else I could name them after whatever inane forum troll happened to desperately beg for my attention for a few passing minutes at the time...
    Just a sec chief, does that mean that less annoying pests of the forum (not having made the inane forum troll grade) are liable for gastropoda classification? If this is the case, and cladisticly speaking can I have the one named after me placed in a new category called JAKcicula ? Thanks in advance!
    Last edited by ER; 24-06-2012 at 02:13 PM.
    https://www.nswca.org.au/index.php
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    From this day (13-11-20) onwards, I will only be posting, shouting and reading none other than chess related posts.
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  6. #6
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    Are you an Australian chess player sitting at home bored with the lack of on-line coverage of major Australian tournaments? I have a solution! Let me introduce you to the exciting new on-line sport of "Bonham Baiting".

    I've been trialling this game for some months now and it's great fun. It's available to everyone, easy to play and available 24 hours a day as Kevin is always there waiting to post his response.

    The rules are simple, just enter a post on Chess Chat of at least 100 words, two of which must be "Kevin Bonham". Players are then awarded points based on Kevin's reply. You get points for the speed, length, rudeness and pedantry of his reply and of course you get bonus points if you can get him to use the word "snail" in his response.

    The points will be awarded by a panel, appointed by the ACF Selection Co-ordinator, of non-expert NSW judges whose decision shall be final.

    No matter how many points you get you can be trumped if someone scores the "Royal Flush" of Bonham Baiting, namely a post which is so correct, so brilliant and so complete that it evokes the "holy grail" of Chess Chat posting ... namely a post which elicits no reply from our esteemed moderator.

    Let me offer some tips for new players. Try to use words in capitals somewhere in your post, Kevin hates that and I've found that mentioning "rook endings" or "Yes Minister" are words which are likely to score you extra points.

    So, please join me in this exciting new sport. Let the games begin!
    Last edited by jammo; 24-06-2012 at 05:51 PM.

  7. #7
    Monster of the deep Kevin Bonham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jammo
    You get points for the speed, length, rudeness [..] of his reply
    Do you get extra points if he calls you a hypocrite because you are one?

    So, please join me in this exciting new sport. Let the games begin!
    I'm sure all your imaginary friends are very interested in seeing if they can lower themselves to your level. And yes, it's very obvious that you are bored. Here's a suggestion for you: play chess! It's fun and I guarantee you won't "lose" more than 600 ratings points (actually you have none to lose since your rating has expired) in your first tournament back.
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  8. #8
    Account Banned Sir Cromulent Sparkles's Avatar
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    jammo, are you familiar with antichrist and dean hogg ?

  9. #9
    CC Grandmaster Desmond's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jammo
    Are you an Australian chess player sitting at home bored with the lack of on-line coverage of major Australian tournaments? I have a solution!
    Does it involve getting a life?
    So what's your excuse? For running like the devil's chasing you?

    See you in another life, brotha.

  10. #10
    CC Grandmaster Capablanca-Fan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kevin Bonham
    Here's a suggestion for you: play chess! It's fun and I guarantee you won't "lose" more than 600 ratings points (actually you have none to lose since your rating has expired) in your first tournament back.
    On a serious note, does this mean that any player with an expired rating would restart as an unrated player, at least for the purposes of rating calculation?
    “The history of the 20th century is full of examples of countries that set out to redistribute wealth and ended up redistributing poverty.”
    “There’s no point blaming the tragedies of socialism on the flaws or corruption of particular leaders. Any system which allows some people to exercise unbridled power over others is an open invitation to abuse, whether that system is called slavery or socialism or something else.”—Thomas Sowell

  11. #11
    Monster of the deep Kevin Bonham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jono
    On a serious note, does this mean that any player with an expired rating would restart as an unrated player, at least for the purposes of rating calculation?
    No but the new rating will be very strongly influenced by their new results with their old rating having a diminished influence. The official comment on the ACF ratings page is:

    "A x following a rating indicates that it has expired since the player
    has not played a rated game in over 10 years. If a player with an
    expired rating returns and plays in an ACF rated event their new rating
    will be closely linked and in line with their performance rating and
    not necessarily their old expired rating."

    Hopefully, as well as indicating that such ratings are of very limited predictive value, this reform will discourage long-inactive players from pretending that decades-old ratings still have any currency as an indicator of how good a player they currently are.

    Expired ratings are still usable for seedings and ratings prizes.
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  12. #12
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    About 6 months ago, there was a knock at my back door.
    I couldn't see anyone but then noticed a small snail.
    The snail said: "You couldn't lend me $5, could you?"
    I replied: "No I can't", wherein I picked it up, called it a cheeky so and so, and dumped it at the bottom of the garden.
    Last night, there was another knock at the back door.
    I opened it to find the same snail there again who said: "Now that wasn't very nice, was it?"

  13. #13
    CC International Master ElevatorEscapee's Avatar
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    The Four Friends (by A.A.Milne)

    All this talk of snails reminds of the poem "The four friends" by A.A.Milne...

    The poem is not about chess players nor posters here, it was apparently from a book first published in 1924. However, to regular readers of this forum, some of the characters may seem quite familiar...

    The Four Friends
    A.A. Milne
    Ernest was an elephant, a great big fellow,
    Leonard was a lion with a six foot tail,
    George was a goat, and his beard was yellow,
    And James was a very small snail.

    Leonard had a stall, and a great big strong one,
    Earnest had a manger, and its walls were thick,
    George found a pen, but I think it was the wrong one,
    And James sat down on a brick

    Earnest started trumpeting, and cracked his manger,
    Leonard started roaring, and shivered his stall,
    James gave a huffle of a snail in danger
    And nobody heard him at all.

    Earnest started trumpeting and raised such a rumpus,
    Leonard started roaring and trying to kick,
    James went on a journey with the goats new compass
    And he reached the end of his brick.

    Ernest was an elephant and very well intentioned,
    Leonard was a lion with a brave new tail,
    George was a goat, as I think I have mentioned,
    but James was only a snail.
    "On my chess set, all the pawns are Hamburglers" ~ Homer Simpson.

  14. #14
    CC Grandmaster antichrist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jammo View Post
    Provocative (and humorous) comments from the Baron. By way of contrast AC calls someone he doesn't know "Mike" when his name is "Michael" (not Mike) and also promotes Greg Canfell to IM when he is an FM. I can only presume that his posts above are written in haste and ignorance. Sometimes it is better to say nothing.
    And what is that about - and fighting against those who are forever lost in the minutiae. Thanks for second Chrissie present.
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  15. #15
    CC FIDE Master
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    Quote Originally Posted by antichrist View Post
    And what is that about - and fighting against those who are forever lost in the minutiae. Thanks for second Chrissie present.
    Well have a look (for instance) at the section on Forum Statistics and Oddities. The only "oddity" that I can see is why anyone would want to waste their time compiling (or reading) such trivia. It's a bit sad really.
    Still searching for Bobby Fischer....
    and fighting against those humourless bureaucrats who are forever lost in the minutiae.

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