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  1. #1
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    Zombie Survival Plan!

    Ok every sane person on earth needs to have a survival guide for their specified location and several plans can help depending on what type of zombies.

    To make it easier I'll give the gist of the situation.

    1. You are where ever you live

    2. 95% of the populations are zombies

    3. They are not classic slow limp zombies. They walk about half our pace but compensate in numbers. Also because they don't feel pain it gives them the appearence of super strength however they aren't any stronger than the average person.

    4. They walk day and night, although in the night their vision is hugely impaired meaning that you can sneak quite effectively.

    5. Cutting of connection between the brain and the body kills them so does sevre brain damage. Minor brain damage can impair them to the oint in which they are useless. Electrocution, fire etc all work aslong as you destory the brain!

    6. Their limbs do not operate on their own. I hate in movies when somethings hand gets chopped off and it keeps going, ridiculous!

    7. They are quite stupid. Not overly for instance if you give away your location they will repeatatively attack it.

    8. All the sense are fine but they have slow reactions.

    9. They use weapons but are too stupid to use any firearms or drive vehicles.

    10. They drown. Because they cannot get oxygen to the brain.

    11. Bites will turn you but contact with blood won't I know this one doesn't make sense but it would be way hard if blood contact owned you.

    12. Mobile reception is all good but 000, helplines etc are out of service. Maybe because everyone is a zombie or they are just too busy to take your call.

    13. You can only use what you can realistically find. You get extra props for inventing zombie killing or sick defensive stuff.

    Ok people go for it!
    Last edited by Saragossa; 15-09-2009 at 06:02 PM.
    And still, no one has satisfactorily proven, that it isn't opposite day.

  2. #2
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    This is my awesome plan. First of all I put on motorbiking armour, boots and helmet from my room also picking up my duffel bag,army knife,lighter, spare clothes and gath helmet. Run to the kitchen and grab big chef's knife and clawed hammer. Move stealthily out to the shed where I pick up the strong arm and tomahawk. I put the hammer and knife in duffle bag, keeping the knife wrapped in spare clothes. I grab nails and a saw as well as weight lifting gloves.

    If all is good now and I haven't been mobbed to death by zombies I begin to gather supplies. Conveniantly we have a well stocked pantry and a cask of water I also pick up matches just incase my lighter gets out of gas. Only canned food for me and easy stuff like two minute noodles, coffee etc nothing too heavy just enough to keep me going for a little while.

    I live in a small country town but 600 zombies are still quite a few so I need to be weary. Luckily My school is like 500m from where I live and I have a farm root directly to it. RUN!

    Assuming I make it alive I break into the school. Specifically the cooking room. It has food and cooking untensils but is in a bad location (Lots of windows and not many doors to escape). I snatch what I can from there and bail to the computer room. It is great Stairs are the only access to it besides one door which is easy to barracade. It also has computers so I can establish contact if the internet is still working.

    Now I have a problem. I'm barracaded but I have no good weapons. The gym store room has javalins and a few archery sets but it has a big metal shutter defending it so I have no real way of getting in atm. The next place is the mdt room which has grinders which I could use but they require two hands and I don't want to go defenseless for too long.

    So I have to go on a mission to the office and see what keys I can get. All the doors have windows which I can easily fit through so I smash them out and make my way to the office and recover all the keys. This includes the gym store room keys which I am so glad to have. I get all the weapons I can muster from the gym and continue to nap resources from the cooking room.

    Now that this is taken care of I begin to barricade and barricade some more going on hunting missions every so often to either loot houses of food or just kill zombies to lessen the risk.

    I totally forgot about first aid. Well the school has first aid kits all over the place and I could loot a book on the matter from the library. I would also take MCO and a chess set from the library for entertainments sake. The canteen has lots of food aswell. And it's ready to be looted!
    Last edited by Saragossa; 15-09-2009 at 11:34 PM.
    And still, no one has satisfactorily proven, that it isn't opposite day.

  3. #3
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    I would grab my clothes and put them in my awesome bag which isn't really awesome then stockpile it with knives (I have lots of knives) then call That_Guy to see if he is a zombie or not. If he is not a zombie then I'd go to his place taking all the back roads while running as fast as lightning and get more knives and other weird crap he has at his house (like a portable stove to cook things) then we go to the local shopping center and kill all the zombies there and make that the new human HQ because it has lots of food and medical supplies in the pharmacy. New weapons can be made at the shop such as flamethrowers using deodorant cans and lighters. There are really sharp knives in the deli as well so they could also be used. If the shop is overrun by the zombies there will most definitely be cars to steal and escape to some part of the desert.

    Do dogs get turned to zombies as well? because if they don't then they are some serious good weapons.

  4. #4
    CC Grandmaster Garrett's Avatar
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    I'd grab my backpack and fill it with tins of spam ham and the half bottle of Bundy from the pantry.

    Then I'd remember how the zombies can die so I'd grab my katana as well.

    Then I'd call Gunner Duggan and ask him if perchance any of his 5 cars just happens to be a hummer. If he does then I ask if he would want to come hunt stray zombies at night. I'd be just like hunting cane toads but more fun.

    We would then think up cool nicknames. I could be Garrett ZombieSlayer and he could be Tromper Stomper.

    We'd just have to be really careful that our stupid, slow reacting targets were actually zombies and not labour party politicians.

    Evertime I decapitated one I'd lean back like Freddy Flintoff does when he takes a wicket and cry "There can be only one".

  5. #5
    CC Grandmaster Desmond's Avatar
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    Zombies eat brains, so I'm going to go hide at the Toolbox; it's the last place they'll ever look.
    So what's your excuse? To run like the devil's chasing you.

    See you in another life, brotha.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Garrett
    I'd grab my backpack and fill it with tins of spam ham and the half bottle of Bundy from the pantry.

    Then I'd remember how the zombies can die so I'd grab my katana as well.

    Then I'd call Gunner Duggan and ask him if perchance any of his 5 cars just happens to be a hummer. If he does then I ask if he would want to come hunt stray zombies at night. I'd be just like hunting cane toads but more fun.
    Well you dominate because you have a katana but you are underestimating how much damage they will do even to a hummer. If you run out of fuel you will be stranded. Brisbane is pretty big loads of zombies...and hey maybe Gunner is already gone. DUN DUN DAH!

    Quote Originally Posted by Boris
    Zombies eat brains, so I'm going to go hide at the Toolbox; it's the last place they'll ever look.
    In the movie you're the guy with an awesome sense of humour regardless how much danger you are in. Luckily for you they don't usually die off 'til late or ratings would go down.
    And still, no one has satisfactorily proven, that it isn't opposite day.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sinister
    Do dogs get turned to zombies as well? because if they don't then they are some serious good weapons.
    Dogs amoung other animals simply get sick and die from the virus. So if your dog gets bitten then it is screwed. If you are willing to sacrifice lives then I can see that dogs would be quite helpful.

    Charging away in a car won't really work simply because 95% of the pop are zombies so the other 5% are going to die pretty quick unless something is done. Thats why I'm looking to write in a reconaisance (excuse spelling) mission where I hunt for survivors ASAP.
    And still, no one has satisfactorily proven, that it isn't opposite day.

  8. #8
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    I could also just take a car and travel to the middle of australia, say alice springs and set up camp there because I don't think it has a high population and somebody is bound to have a gun

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saragossa
    Dogs among other animals simply get sick and die from the virus. So if your dog gets bitten then it is screwed. If you are willing to sacrifice lives then I can see that dogs would be quite helpful
    I am willing to use a dog for a weapon as long as they don't get infected by biting the zombies. I could also just "borrow" a boat and take some weapons and supplies with me to an island without zombies then just lay low for a while.

    How long does this zombie "invasion" last for?

  10. #10
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    2nd Phase-Base expansion

    Ok so I have established a base that can support one person (If we Include that I grabbed my sleeping bag earlier). Now I have the trouble of slowly running out of supplies and defending by myself. Also the innevitablity that unless I find survivors the human race may die out.

    Thus taking my armour, hydro strap on bag (on of those bags that are filled with water and have a straw coming out which I slide under my helmet so I don't have to take it off to drink), Baseball bat, Cricket balls, hammer ,nails,binoculars (science room has them for bird watching etc), footy horn and a bag to keep any finds in.

    First I simply scout the entire school. I know there cannot be many zombies here because it is holidays I should be able to do this fairly quickly. Then there are two main entries one through the farm (small usage) and the one off the main road (Large usage). So I take care of the road entry first which because I'm at a school I have easy barracade material...Chairs! Yes the plastic lock together chairs which I spam both entrances full of. Except with the farm entrace it has a bridge to cross which I burn down. Then close the gate and spam the actual entrance onto school grounds with chairs.
    Now as a precaution I also close the gate that stops cars getting into the playground.

    Now I can finally get into the MDT room safely and move tools to the base along with wood and other valuable supplies that they have there. Notably they have portable gas torches lots of flammable liquids.
    And still, no one has satisfactorily proven, that it isn't opposite day.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sinister
    I am willing to use a dog for a weapon as long as they don't get infected by biting the zombies. I could also just "borrow" a boat and take some weapons and supplies with me to an island without zombies then just lay low for a while.

    How long does this zombie "invasion" last for?
    Well considering that 95% of the pop' is taken down by this without a group of people you are going to die anyway eventually. But we'll say 6-9 monthes as if it were a cancer type thing that slowly deteriorates the body slowly.

    Alice springs is fairly big and you live in goldy yeah? Well it's a pretty long drive !

    What kind of boat. How do you get to where you can take it? Can you sail? Do you know where an Island like this is? Using dogs is a good idea. But you would have to train it or just release angry dogs around the city from pounds or whatever.
    And still, no one has satisfactorily proven, that it isn't opposite day.

  12. #12
    CC Grandmaster Ian Murray's Avatar
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    Sinister came close, but the simple way out is to get down to your local port, get on board a ship (alongside or at anchor) and raise the gangplank. Once you've cleaned out any unwelcome guests on board, you're sitting pretty - a ship is self-sufficient for years.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian Murray
    Sinister came close, but the simple way out is to get down to your local port, get on board a ship (alongside or at anchor) and raise the gangplank. Once you've cleaned out any unwelcome guests on board, you're sitting pretty - a ship is self-sufficient for years.
    This plan also depends on the lone survival of the other 5%. And this ship would have to be pretty convenient, if you are in a big city getting down to the port from where you are is an intense task. And if you do just sit there you may well just drift forever looking for other survivors. Insanity is a problem.

    However if you are going just for your own survival then it is an excellent plan for doing just that.

    On a similar note: Have you seen shockwave? Those zombies drown people it is full lolz.
    And still, no one has satisfactorily proven, that it isn't opposite day.

  14. #14
    Monster of the deep Kevin Bonham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boris
    Zombies eat brains, so I'm going to go hide at the Toolbox; it's the last place they'll ever look.
    Unfortunately the site owner there is the crown prince of the zombie species and quite probably one of the most braindead things to ever evolve from a bacterium.

  15. #15
    CC Grandmaster ER's Avatar
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    I go with Tony's plan, I think dingoes own the Zombs no sweat. Also i 'd take a blowtorch because I read Chopper Read's books and I am inspired! Food is too expensive in Alice though. I will also try to organise a Zombie Chess Tournament and let Garvinator lose to direct it! That will be the end of the Zombie polulation in Australia! Ever!
    PS I suggest secret anti-Zombie final strategy meeting to take place at some stage during the Croydon tournament!
    Last edited by ER; 20-09-2009 at 05:49 AM.
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