View Full Version : The Chaser on Chess

21-07-2006, 08:24 PM
I read an enjoyable article about chess recently, by one of the members of "The Chaser".

Some readers will know of "The Chaser" team from ABC television (and a couple of thier members on Triple J radio: Chris & Craig, who hosted "Today Today" on weekday afternoons, and now host "Sunday Bloody Sunday" on Sundays from 2:00pm (for a few weeks only!).

However, most readers may not know that "The Chaser" has been producing a fortnightly satirical newspaper in Melbourne since 1999. Some articles are now on the web.

The following is "The Chaser" member Gregor Stronach's take on the "politics of chess" written in early June 2006, and it is as enjoyable today as when it was first written.

It is available to read here: Chaser-Politics of Chess (http://www.chaser.com.au/index.php?option=com_content&Itemid=44&task=view&id=3176)

A couple of excerpts to whet the appetite of those who don't normally click on links:

Of the pawns:
The lefty inside me wants to marshall them together, and have a quiet meeting at some out of the way square on the board.

"Listen... guys... seriously. Think this through. There are 16 of you here. 16! You can take anyone on the board on your own, so consider this. What if you all grouped together? Formed a union – a Coalition of the Little... you could rise up, seize the means of destruction and rule the board, making it a charming Utopia in which every piece is of equal value. Yes, even the black ones... it'll be awesome!"

But we all know, deep in our hearts, that while I paint a picture of supreme clarity and truth, it will never, ever happen. Revolutions of any kind are generally doomed to failure one way or another.

And all it will take is for one pawn to reach the final rank at the opposite end of the board, elevate himself to Queen or King, and we're back where we started. It's a crying shame. :)

Of the Bishop:
"Imagine a life where you are confined in your thinking to a single shade. Black or white, once you are placed in your initial position, that's it – you may never occupy a square of the other shade. You must only believe in the one thing, forever more, until you are killed or the war is won."


It is interesting to note in the forum comments that Mr Stronach delibeately avoided mentioning the Gormally incident (which was topical at the time) so as to give the article a more timeless appeal.

I personally would enjoy seeing such an article included in an "Even Even More Complete Chess Addict" style of book. :)

15-08-2006, 11:00 PM
EE, I'm sorry I didn't pay more attention to this when you ran it. I think you covered too many tangents - much like your shoutbox stuff!

01-09-2006, 10:31 PM
As a great man once said: "You should be more observant!" ;)

01-09-2006, 10:34 PM
True. Many great men speak to me :)

01-09-2006, 10:39 PM
I spoke to you in my last post... does that mean that you consider me to be a 'great man'? :P ;)