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antichrist
05-05-2005, 06:48 AM
In this thread over time I will be accumulating my best, most outrageous and stirring posts. Warning: leave our superstition at the door! Not always politicially correct -- but never boring.

__________________________________________________ ___
a)
Where it all began:
Pic of my village in Lebanon http://www.mountlebanon.org/kfarsgh...0Aintourine.jpg

It's name means rocky and rough terrain, its full of churches and very hard-working people.

In my link that mountain top is of course the famous Mt Lebanon, what is Lebanon famous for which is very popular with tourists? No it's not tour of bomb sites etc. It is worth a shout at next comp I see you.
_______________________________________

b)
From "My Top Forty" thread:

I dare not look at this thread cause will make me puke but this is my contribution.

To the tune of

I'M A BELIEVER
Gods are only true in fairy tales,
Then for someone else but not for me,
Reason was out to get me
No matter how I tried
Scepticism and doubts on your superstition,
Than I studied philosophy
Now I'm not a believer
I couldn't believe if I tried.
666
__________________________________________________ ____
c)
Beer Better Than Jesus

Top Ten Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
10.
No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
9.
Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8.
Beer has never caused a major war.
7.
They don't force beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
6.
When you have beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5.
Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured to death over his brand of beer.
4.
You don't have to wait 2,000+ years for a second beer.
3.
There are laws saying that beer labels can't lie to you.
2.
You can prove you have a beer.
1.
If you have devoted your life to beer, there are groups to help you stop.

-----------------------------------------------------------
List created by Stephen P. Berry.
(c) Copyright 1995 by The Agnostic & Atheist Student Group
__________________________________________________ _

antichrist
05-05-2005, 09:15 PM
Listen da Bazzi and Starta
I tella you. Even the Pappa in da Vatican eat plenta spaghetti and he tella me he don'ta care howda you pronounce as longa as his platta is full - Godda willing. And gelato and gelati he likem de both, choca-latti is his favourite - Godda willing.

And he tella me, he pointa de finger at me: That Anti-Christie noa nuting about da Godda - Godda willing. And he tella da priest: Stay awada from the little kastarati - Godda willing

____________________________________________
a/c=811, TCN=768, delta=43..8.10 /052
In an amazing burst of speed a/c has inreased the differential from 7 to 43 in 3 days. The stewards have intervened and a/c has been banned. The Punters Club changes to a bet on one of three outcomes > the MOD takes advantage of the other MODS action >> a/c leaves >>> in 5 moves, Caketin wins .
__________________________________________--

A/C appealed and is off and running again.

TCN is penalised twenty places for boredom and crawling.

Bunta is off the track changing his nappies.

AR made an impression early but has faded away

AFL goalposts has adopted a new slant, deflecting frontal attacks.

Starter is protecting his rear end.

DR challenged the stewards but has left the course.

BD is playing God with relish.
_____________________________________________-

I should be better again by tomorrow so I will be off line -- Godda willing!
__________________________________________________ __

ElevatorEscapee
05-05-2005, 11:27 PM
"When an artist or band releases a 'best of' album, they are admitting that their best is behind them" ~ Sting, (sometime before releasing his "Best of Sting" album).

So a/c, are you saying that your best is behind you? ;)

antichrist
06-05-2005, 03:50 AM
"When an artist or band releases a 'best of' album, they are admitting that their best is behind them" ~ Sting, (sometime before releasing his "Best of Sting" album).

So a/c, are you saying that your best is behind you? ;)

I would love to answer but it probably would not deserve to be in "Best of.." and I am so fussy about being out of thread. Cause as God Gough W said something like: I can't be brilliantly funny all the time.

But I did get away with away with a acerbic ambigeous quip in a post above that went through to the keeper - feeding pearls to swine? Another shout on first to find and getting it right.

I am upsest at the moment because I let that pig BJP get away without a final demo - those pi..weak bannabenders could not be trusted to put a demo on of walking on both sides of a barb wire fence until the cows come home. And Gullible GRAY reakons they have changed!! (I think it was him). They are all still gullible galahs to be fed hyperbole. I will redeem this post by another BOC:

How pathetic of them giving Joh Bjelke Petersen a state funeral - he was a corrupt, fascist pig!

EGOR
06-05-2005, 06:14 AM
Some interesting ideas


Beer Better Than Jesus

Top Ten Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
10.
No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
No beer is the one that does the killing, on the roads (drunk drivers), in the home (domestic violance), in the hospital (liver diseas), etc.

9.
Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
No it just stops you from having sex.

8.
Beer has never caused a major war..
No it has just been used as an insentive to fight.

7.
They don't force beer on minors who can't think for themselves..
Not true, I now from personal experiance.

6.
When you have beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away..
You just knock people over in your car.

5.
Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured to death over his brand of beer..
All brands of beer kill in the same ways.

4.
You don't have to wait 2,000+ years for a second beer..
Maybe you should

3.
There are laws saying that beer labels can't lie to you..
Which are ignored and not enforced.

2.
You can prove you have a beer..
Yes, mostly by the stupid and dangerous way you behave when you have to many.

1.
If you have devoted your life to beer, there are groups to help you stop.
And that's the way it should be.

Eric
06-05-2005, 10:22 AM
How pathetic of them giving Joh Bjelke Petersen a state funeral - he was a corrupt, fascist pig!

Look who's calling someone else a fascist! It's Adolf himself!

Rincewind
06-05-2005, 10:40 AM
Look who's calling someone else a fascist! It's Adolf himself!

Technically speaking, Adolf Hitler was a Nazi. And as Joh was not even close to a fascist, I assume AC was just using the term in an expletive sense.

ElevatorEscapee
07-05-2005, 04:12 PM
"Technically speaking", the Pope, Benedict XVI, is (or at least was) both a Nazi and a Facist, as in his younger days, he was a member of the Hitler Youth... However, I will leave it to A/C to make the "best" of this. ;)

Spiny Norman
08-05-2005, 05:52 PM
How pathetic of them giving Joh Bjelke Petersen a state funeral - he was a corrupt, fascist pig!

I understand he thought the world of you though AC ...

antichrist
08-05-2005, 05:56 PM
I understand he thought the world of you though AC ...

If he watched TV while those anti-Springbok demos were on he would have picked me up in the Townsville mob, challenging his State of Emergency edict.

I was on TV oftenish even in those days.

antichrist
26-06-2005, 10:48 PM
There was a old man from Lebanon,
Who was known to rave on and on,
He came across a guy called Starter
Who was an absolutely outstanding farter
But the man from Lebanon was much smarter

Spiny Norman
28-06-2005, 06:20 PM
If that's supposed to be a limerick, I'll point out the bleeding obvious that the last line should've rhymed with 'on'. :whistle:

antichrist
28-06-2005, 09:04 PM
If that's supposed to be a limerick, I'll point out the bleeding obvious that the last line should've rhymed with 'on'. :whistle:

Isn't it a shame when knowing too much wrecks one's ability to enjoy in simple bliss.

Rhubarb
28-06-2005, 09:15 PM
I was going to break with my own tradition and not punch antichrist as I walked in the door, but already the attention whore has attempted to hijack a serious thread (Oz Masters), so here goes:

Antichrist reminds me of Zaphod Beeblebrox in that he purposefully gets things wrong and acts stupidly in an attempt to hide the fact that he always gets things wrong and is genuinely stupid.

Aaron Bellette
28-06-2005, 09:36 PM
Antichrist reminds me of Zaphod Beeblebrox in that he purposefully gets things wrong and acts stupidly in an attempt to hide the fact that he always gets things wrong and is genuinely stupid.
But hey, Zaphod was President of the Galaxy and had a really cool ship, The Heart of Gold :cool:

AB

PS Yes I know technically Zaphod stole it! :P

Alan Shore
28-06-2005, 09:46 PM
I was going to break with my own tradition and not punch antichrist as I walked in the door, but already the attention whore has attempted to hijack a serious thread (Oz Masters), so here goes:

Antichrist reminds me of Zaphod Beeblebrox in that he purposefully gets things wrong and acts stupidly in an attempt to hide the fact that he always gets things wrong and is genuinely stupid.

Hi Greg,

Did you borrow that term from me to describe AC or did we arrive at that conclusion independently? ;)

eclectic
28-06-2005, 09:56 PM
it would seem to me an inherent contradition to imagine the scenario of antichrist approaching publisher after publisher in a quest to have an attendant bookbinder harness his like-witted utterences together using a single thread when he himself is quite profligate here in his use of the same.

;)

eclectic

Rhubarb
28-06-2005, 10:00 PM
Hi Greg,

Did you borrow that term from me to describe AC or did we arrive at that conclusion independently? ;)
DS, I originally included an attribution to you, but decided at the last second that it might ruin the flow of the king-hit. I had no doubt that I would have the opportunity to rectify matters.
And, on reflection, I should have figured out a way to give due credit to your bon mot.

antichrist
29-06-2005, 12:19 AM
Kegless, I must admit I blundered on that one, read it very quickly thinking that you were in the Masters. Sorry. Have deleted the inapprop post over there.

antichrist
17-09-2005, 11:26 AM
From Box Hill Open 2005

Quote:
Originally Posted by arosar


Let's write the lyrics!
(for No Third Prize)

AR
______________________________
NO THIRD PLACE (by A/C)

No third prize
was the cry
when the guy
who had put up his place
for a place bet on a race
that some contestants couldn't face

so the third
for that nag
meant his dreams
had hit a snag

so he slept on a bench
in a park with no fence
with a sign that read
"seven nags in a race
doesn't pay third for a place

antichrist
14-12-2009, 07:13 AM
Shirty3.13 Stupid selfish effete green-yoghurt-drinking dickheads named Michael Baron should only be allowed to criticise the ACF if they are not the worst ACF administrator on record. M Baron
Shitty, Whats criticism of ACF got to do with the question I was asking. I wonder why you took it so close to your heart? Is there any particular person with a drinking problem who wants to turn up drunk at chess events that you are having in mind and feels should be allowed to do so?__________________

In the absence of Firegoat 7 I will provide the necessary social context analysis of the different paradigms these victims are playing out.

Shirty comes for a rough, tough, masculine, mascular, homosexual-bashing, decked out in singlet, shorts and thongs, meat pie eating country rugby league NSW Aussie - whereas Mike comes from a sofisticated, soft, nandy pandering, green yoghurt eating,tailored suited, soccer-playing European - where if you were to only fleetigly touch their garment they would immediately hit the ground screaming as if hit by a stun gun.
So the advice of Firegoat would be to become an anarchist, drop all class, ethnic, ethical, social and historical pretentions and probably share a funny cigarette together. Good on you mate.

And if you guys cant revent yourself via rebirthing, detoxing. AA, chicken chow min then you can do a Beaumont/Daft replay with Matt Sweeney as ref!

Desmond
14-12-2009, 08:06 PM
"Technically speaking", the Pope, Benedict XVI, is (or at least was) both a Nazi and a Facist, as in his younger days, he was a member of the Hitler Youth... However, I will leave it to A/C to make the "best" of this. ;)
Not to mention a sith lord (http://fernandoyanmar.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/pope-benedict-palpatine.jpg).

antichrist
14-10-2010, 04:52 PM
Through trial and tribulations, hope, fear and torture, 20 odd bannings, deemed "utterly contemptible" by admin, and plenty of good fun I have made 8,000 posts - and thanks for your vote of confidence in voting overwhelming not to have me barred permanently.

My motto is - you only live once so enjoy yourself and don't take things too seriously (wonder if I can last till Melbourne Cup?)

antichrist
04-06-2011, 04:20 PM
Gee both of you guys are self-serving hee-hawing climate changing deniers (analogy that is).

Wen coming back home after being from Dark Side in total sunshine and travelling the speed of light and being barred from SB my computer would romp it in - and there wasn't a sprouty in sight - don't mention the war, nor anyone of those minorities whose certain practises are dicey (treehuggers for example) - but lo and behold when when the fox was allowed back into the henhouse of SB da site was paralaysed its was, as if frozen in a time warp, as if a slow moving 9/11 was occuring over about 5 mins., like a baby would never be conceived if you know what I mean.

Well being the great intellect I am, in brotherhood with Einstein but not one of the Chosen (like being both God and Man), I deducted that it must be our precious what a mouth he's got what a mouth he's got, wait for it, SHOUTOX.

But I must admit it was a difficult one to call, I am sure those deniers of AC's Homo Experiences Blah Blah Blah thread in the Coffee Lounge could not have picked it - in fact that is what you two guys remind of, those posters who can't bear to read THAT thread's name, you can't admit that AC shot the problem straight in the eye, just as that thread did in threading the needle.

Just as I did with ST George Champ fiasco.

This Lebo has it over the whole board now if you don't mind I will enjoy my felafel in peace.

Kevin Bonham
04-06-2011, 04:38 PM
^^^
That was a very funny post. Shame it was both hackneyed and unconvincing but I guess you can't have everything.

SHOUTOX!!!