View Full Version : Humour

06-03-2005, 10:51 PM
Originally Posted by David_Richards
A/c, I think you'll get back on the evolution thread as long as you don't mention the G-O-D word. I did once, but I think I got away with it!

As my dental drills into me each six months his favourite:
Basil's wife"
"You know what I will do Basil if I find you have been gambling"

Basil: "You will have to sew them back on first".

Spiny Norman
07-03-2005, 05:31 PM
My favourite lines from Farty Towels:

Sybil (to Basil): "You ageing, brilliantine, stick-insect"

Basil's retort: "You rankerous, quaffid old sow!"

08-03-2005, 06:30 PM
From the ABC website:

Researchers prescribe hearty dose of laughter

American researchers have reported that a daily dose of laughter may be good for the heart.
Researchers at the University of Maryland found that, after showing two movies - one humorous and one stressful - to a group of volunteers, the participants had differences in blood flow.
They found that blood flow was reduced in 14 of the 20 volunteers after stressful movie clips.
But blood flowed more freely in 19 of the 20 when they laughed at funny movie segments.
However encouraging the news, the researchers do not recommend replacing exercise with laughter.

After listening to two episodes of Blackadder in my car on the way to chess, I played a good game cos I'd got my blood flowing freely :)

08-03-2005, 08:03 PM
You mean Matt was good medicine for us? But I don't think it did AR any good.

11-04-2005, 06:49 PM
My dentist insists on telling jokes to break the misery, so here is todays offering.

Some graziers were taking a bull to exhibition but noticed that it was cross-eyed. So they called the dentist in who pushed a hose up its backside, blowed in very hard and bingo, the eyes re-aligned.

Half way towards the show the bull went cross-eyed again, so they thought to save vet fees they would insert the hose and blow themsleves. But nothing happened. So they called in the vet again.

The vet saw the hose still up the bull, took it out, turned it around and inserted it in again. Blew his hardest and bingo, the eyes straightened again. The graziers asked him why did he reverse the hose? The vet replied: He did not want to put that end of the hose in his mouth after they had been blowing on it!!

Spiny Norman
15-04-2005, 10:27 AM
Microsoft acquires Evil from Satan: