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PHAT
27-08-2004, 11:32 PM
1. There is to be NO quotes or replies on this thread.

2. The only comments that can be made are such orders such as:

"Play five K+B+N Vs K"
"Play one 1. f4 ... 2. Kf2"
"Play thirty bullit games with a hangover"
"Play Twenty K+Q Vs K+R"
"Play Twelve round candidates match with GM Escabano"
"Teach a junior how to tell a joke"
"Set up 10,000 chess boards"
"Accept a BYE"
"Attend a NSWCA council meeting"
"Drink the free coffee at all events for the next year"
"Study the Sicilian for 20 years"
"Buy the latest version of Fritz so you can loose to it too"
"Discover that you like transfer more than normal chess"
Anyway, you get the idea.

3. This thread is only for confessions - and their required atonments.

PHAT
27-08-2004, 11:37 PM
I have slagged off private schools, the kids who go to them and the parents who send them. I have merciously ridiculed religiosity.

My eldest daughter is going to an expensive Catholic girls high school next year.

peanbrain
27-08-2004, 11:39 PM
1. There is to be NO quotes or replies on this thread.


testing 1.2.3.....

eclectic
27-08-2004, 11:43 PM
testing 1.2.3.....

yeah, the confessional is meant to hide your secrets ...

where's the 8192 bit encryption ?

:P ;)

eclectic

Kevin Bonham
28-08-2004, 12:12 AM
I have slagged off private schools, the kids who go to them and the parents who send them. I have merciously ridiculed religiosity.

My eldest daughter is going to an expensive Catholic girls high school next year.

Attempt to win a rated game against a player with a four-figure rating by quiet positional play. :lol:

Cat
28-08-2004, 07:51 AM
Yes I am a Genesis fan.

Alan Shore
28-08-2004, 05:10 PM
"Discover that you like transfer more than normal chess"

But I do! I like suicide chess better too..

In fact my confession is I don't even like chess any more.. despite being a good teacher of it ;)

PHAT
28-08-2004, 05:59 PM
Yes I am a Genesis fan.

:eek: Two "knight's tours" and talk to 10 pusshy chess parents for an hour each.

Rincewind
28-08-2004, 06:10 PM
:eek: Two "knight's tours" and talk to 10 pusshy chess parents for an hour each.

The punishment should fit the crime.

Spend a night playnig blitz on the internet while listening to the Libertines at full volume.

Kevin Bonham
28-08-2004, 07:48 PM
But I do! I like suicide chess better too..

That sounds like a confession!

The appropriate punishment for liking transfer better than normal chess is:

Return all the pieces to sets with the correct number, colour and shade following a three-hour transfer tournament involving at least 30 juniors.

(for further info see: Ian Rout's post on Laws of Transfer.)

Cat
28-08-2004, 11:24 PM
:eek: Two "knight's tours" and talk to 10 pusshy chess parents for an hour each.


The punishment should fit the crime.

Spend a night playnig blitz on the internet while listening to the Libertines at full volume

You guys are just so kind, it makes me want to go back to church.

Alan Shore
30-08-2004, 06:46 AM
I confess, I'm a slacker when it comes to work.. I hand assignments in at the last minute and study for exams the night before and then feel guilty at getting such good results.

But perhaps a change is in the air.. I've been getting things done marginally earlier (I think I set a personal record finishing an assignment a week early)! Since I stay up all night I often go to the 24-hour computer labs at the university.. it's amazing how much I get done there, compared with absolute jack shit at home. If the good Doc's sleeping suggestions don't pan out perhaps I'll just forever be destined to be a night owl and sac those extra 5 years of life. Ah well, wish not to live long but to live well I say :cool:

Kevin Bonham
22-12-2004, 06:33 PM
I am surprised this thread did not take off much at the time. On my other main forum (currently down) the equivalent (without atonements) has over 2000 posts and is remarkably therapeutic, amusing and (at times) cryptic.

I didn't use msn until about six months ago but I think I am fast getting the hang of it. I just ended a pleasant 2-hour chat with a known vegan with "*runs away to eat dead animal, cya*".

ursogr8
25-01-2005, 04:44 PM
I have had occasion to read the start of the Competitive thread recently. I have to admit on re-reading that at the time of the thread discussion I was overly-sensitive to comments made by BD in the thread, and I frankly took some the wrong way. I think I was slow to judge that he preferred lightning chess, and this misjudgement biased my view on his posts.

starter

antichrist
25-01-2005, 10:16 PM
day in day out, week in week out, year in year out, I take money playing and gambling on chess from people who don't have much of a chance of beating me. My artifically low rating is a good disguise.

Rhubarb
25-01-2005, 11:06 PM
day in day out, week in week out, year in year out, I take money playing and gambling on chess from people who don't have much of a chance of beating me. My artifically low rating is a good disguise.
No, it just shows your morally low rating.

Karthick, how about a last hurrah?

Brought to you by Starter! Enterprises!! (apply within to get on...)

IT'S THE ...

Dumb-Ass End-Of-The-World!!!!!!!

ANTICHRIST vs. FREDDY!!!!!!!!

(playing on all chesschat.org channels)

BE THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (or be wetware).

antichrist
26-01-2005, 06:37 PM
Before you start cracking smart ones about me you must answer that question I put to you weeks ago re getting sabotaged at comps, then you are welcome to give me a backhander.

Who is Freddy? Paulini's long lost uncle?

I won't play anyone over internet/computer as I don't trust people that much after that incident two years ago.

Spiny Norman
26-01-2005, 08:27 PM
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antichrist
27-01-2005, 08:33 AM
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Frosty,
that is the most intelligent message I have ever read from you.
double-dutch, chinese, hungarian

Rhubarb
27-01-2005, 10:14 AM
Before you start cracking smart ones about me you must answer that question I put to you weeks ago re getting sabotaged at comps, then you are welcome to give me a backhander.

Who is Freddy? Paulini's long lost uncle?

I won't play anyone over internet/computer as I don't trust people that much after that incident two years ago.
Okay AC, (and Freddy) it seemed funny at the time, having an apocalyptic showdown between our two extremists. I wanted to use Keating's "ass end of the world" line (I know I've Americanised it, but the other version seems too profane to me) but I needed a word to proceed it for the pun. I decided on dumb, as smart is entirely too complimentary. :P

And I was never quite sure what you were getting at with that question. Would you like to spell it out for me again?

antichrist
27-01-2005, 05:09 PM
Okay AC, (and Freddy) it seemed funny at the time, having an apocalyptic showdown between our two extremists. I wanted to use Keating's "ass end of the world" line (I know I've Americanised it, but the other version seems too profane to me) but I needed a word to proceed it for the pun. I decided on dumb, as smart is entirely too complimentary. :P

And I was never quite sure what you were getting at with that question. Would you like to spell it out for me again?

A) you save all your pennies to go overseas to this fantastic comp

B) you save your holidays to go overseas etc

C) You study chess for months for this comp.

D) You tell all your friends of this big event in your life

E) You go and perform brilliantly and full of expectation and excitement.

F) It all becomes meaningless because of the premediated action of someone close to you.

Would you

A) Feel like a keg of Tooheys

B) Pat the sabotager on the back and say good job, do the same next time

C) want to murder the sabotager

D) expect censure on the BB many times greater than a poster who cops big blasts for mistakenly quoting incorrectly or unorthordoxly(?).

E) expect the whole chess world (at least on BB) to not raise an eyebrow and pretend it didn't happen.

Someone has to do the unpopular

Spiny Norman
27-01-2005, 07:40 PM
Frosty,
that is the most intelligent message I have ever read from you.
double-dutch, chinese, hungarian

Just baring my soul ... speaking in tongues as it were ... here's the interpretation:

*** PGP SIGNATURE VERIFICATION ***
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*** Signer: Stephen Frost <stephen.frost@croydonchess.com> (0x294C91DA)
*** Signed: 26/01/2005 9:23:49 PM
*** Verified: 26/01/2005 9:23:58 PM
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I once was so paranoid about theft of intellectual property on a project I was running that I forced all the staff to use PGP-encrypted mail for all communications. Productivity went through the floor. The project never got funded. The intellectual property got stolen anyway.

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Rincewind
27-01-2005, 07:47 PM
No, it just shows your morally low rating.

AC also intentionally keeps his moral rating low. ;)

antichrist
27-01-2005, 10:35 PM
AC also intentionally keeps his moral rating low. ;)

Now Baz,
what have I done to upset you? I thought we were mates.

Rhubarb
27-01-2005, 10:57 PM
A) you save all your pennies to go overseas to this fantastic comp

B) you save your holidays to go overseas etc

C) You study chess for months for this comp.

D) You tell all your friends of this big event in your life

E) You go and perform brilliantly and full of expectation and excitement.

F) It all becomes meaningless because of the premediated action of someone close to you.

When you say "you" do you mean yourself, or do you mean the pronoun "one" (i.e. any person) or are you referring specifically to me? If it's either of the first two, why ask me in particular? If it's the latter, are you talking about an instance in the past where you know of someone sabotaging my tournament without me knowing, or is it just hypothetical?

In any case, would you mind telling me what the premeditated action of the saboteur is in your scenario?

It's a little irritating for me to ask you to spell out what you mean, and for you to come back with an even more ambiguous and apparently pointless question.

Lucena
27-01-2005, 11:14 PM
Yes I am a Genesis fan.

It's ok David, it's a great read.

Cat
27-01-2005, 11:24 PM
It's ok David, it's a great read.


I like the early stuff with Peter Gabriel. I always seem to like things nobody else likes!

Rincewind
28-01-2005, 08:20 AM
what have I done to upset you? I thought we were mates.

It was a light-hearted jibe. Hence the ";)".

antichrist
28-01-2005, 10:39 AM
I admit it helps when I am sorting out the married women to have a morally-low rating.

Italianos are not my speciality so you are lucky - remember in the witchcraze days women were accused of having it off with the Devil who was supposed to have had an icey one. They had fertile minds in those days.

Spiny Norman
05-02-2005, 12:30 PM
Back to the confessions:

I refer to Christians with the "sign of the fish" stickers on the back of their car as FLATHEADS.

antichrist
06-02-2005, 09:09 PM
Back to the confessions:

I refer to Christians with the "sign of the fish" stickers on the back of their car as FLATHEADS.

I coined the term "Bible-Junkies". A recent one of mine is a double meaning for "body-surfing" -- use your imagination.

Spiny Norman
07-03-2005, 06:00 PM
I never wanted to be an IT Manager ... I have always wanted to be a rock star.

Alan Shore
07-03-2005, 06:55 PM
I never wanted to be an IT Manager ... I have always wanted to be a rock star.

That made me smile. :)

Frosty, there's still time mate!

Spiny Norman
19-03-2005, 02:55 PM
My Confession: I have trouble following the detailed plots in Battlestar Galactica because I am too distracted by the spaceships and explosions.

Footnote:

... ensuing conversation with my wife ...

THE SCENE: Sitting in bed, end of the day, dog tired. BSG is on, with a particularly complex series of flashbacks where pilot Starbuck is having dreams about the future AND remembering the past AND doing stuff in the present.

Me: This show is ridiculous. What's going on? And who's that girl there ... we just saw her up on the Battlestar, now she's down on the planet?

Wife: What's wrong with you? She's a Cylon! Haven't you been watching. They look like humans.

Me: I don't get it. Who's a Cylon?

Wife: For crying out loud, what's gotten into you?

Me: There's nothing wrong with me! Hey, I play CHESS you know!!!

Wife: Don't give me that ... you haven't got a clue have you? Chess is just pushing plastic pieces around a board. You've got NO IDEA what's going on in this program have you?

Me: <muttering to self> ... damn flashbacks ... <more muttering> ... should be more spaceships and battle scenes ...

Wife: <dissolving into fits of laughter> You're getting OLD aren't you? You're losing the plot!

Kevin Bonham
24-08-2007, 11:28 PM
Wow, it's a while since this was used.

I'm not going to say why I'm bumping it either. Not explicitly. But seek (perhaps in the burnt out debris of ancient flamewars) and ye shall find. :lol:

DanielBell
25-08-2007, 05:50 PM
I eat peanut butter out of the jar.

Basil
25-08-2007, 11:38 PM
Big jar?